Wimp needs advice on duping wife into greenlighting a Kat.

[snootypoodle]

What angle did you guys use to get your bikes?
Blackmail? threat of blunt force trauma?
Well, since I got no dirt on her and I'm not the violent type, I need your help.

I thought about kickin open the front door, steppin to her with a crazy look on my face and sayin something like "Listen here woman, I wears the pants around here...yada, yada, yada".
Not really my style though.

I thought about just buying the bike (06 KAT 750, by the way), and storing it over a friend's house.
3 Drawbacks though:
1 - Wife might think I'm cheatin on her since I'm now over my friend's house all the time.
2 - So called friend might ride/trash the bike.
3- Rat Bastard friend knows when I'm out riding so he's hookin up with the wife back at my house.

Hypnotism
Somehow get the spousal unit to look at a pocketwatch while I wave it back and forth in front of her while I say repeatedly "Snooty needs a Kat...Snooty needs a Kat"
Drawback: My crotch would have to be within kicking distance to pull this off and if the jig is up, I'm singing soprano.

Death=Cash
Thought about telling her that if I die in a motorcycle crash, she'll get all this insurance money.
Yeah right! Like the next day at work she won't be Googling "how to disconnect Suzuki Katana brakes".

Anyways, all joking aside,
I need real ideas that I can present so she'll greenlight the purchase before summer.
Thanks

SnootyPoodle

[ZukiFred]

Have you talked with her about this before?

[Junior]

Wait until she says "I want a baby"

Then you say "I want a motorcycle"

See if you can hold out long enough.

[sled_head25]

tell her there's two things you want in life.1 her and 2 a bike.lol

[bobs]

Tell her how much commute time you'll save every day to spend home with her and the kids, because you can split lanes through stopped traffic and ride solo in the HOV lanes.

Tell her how much gas money you'll save because the bike gets 6x better mileage than your Suburban.

Tell her how much initial capital outlay, and how much sales tax and registration and insurance costs you'll save, by buying a 96 instead of an 06.

Tell her how the MSF course gets you an insurance discount.

...at least that's what got me interested in motorcycles, and what tipped my wife's scales in favor too. (We drive BMWs, not a Suburban, but you get the idea.)

[goduke]

I told my wife that I wanted one and that I was going to get one. I didnt leave it open for discussion.

Of course if you have to get the ok from her money wise my approach might not work for you.

[WildKat]

Dude, that entire post was just hysterical even my wife was laughing at it !!!

oh and btw, good luck w/ this approach!

thought about kickin open the front door, steppin to her with a crazy look on my face and sayin something like "Listen here woman, I wears the pants around here...yada, yada, yada".

Really though, just be serious and thoughtful about it. Sit down with her, tell her what you want, why you want it, let her know you're doing things the responsible way by wearing gear, taking an MSF course, and that you respect her enough to get her input and ask her to help you make the decision. If she supports you enough and you guys can afford it, you're good to go !

[Danimal]

Alright...first order of business. I have been lurking here for a long time, and this thread actually persuaded me to register. Even the title was hillarious. Either you've been crafting and perfecting that post for weeks...or you are some sort of celebrity commedian.

Nextly, I went through the same thing. I am, however, not married. We are getting married in 8 weeks and have been dating for 7 (yes...seven) years. She worries about everything...she can figure out 6 ways someone can die doing any daily activity...and she'll worry about it. So naturally, motorcycles scare her to death.

First...I planted the seed. One of the hardest steps. I had to think up what I was going to say, and just lay it on her. I knew how she was going to react (horribly), and I accepted it. I said, "I'll be completely honest, I think I am going to buy a motorcycle." All hell broke loose, but I kept my composure and somewhat dropped the subject.

From there, I just kept telling her...yes I am going to get a motorcycle and I need you to be okay with that.

It was a 4 week process, and finally by the time I was ready to take delivery of my bike from the dealer, she was somewhat okay with the bike. Still to this day she will not ever come near it, but she accepts the fact that it is one of my biggest hobbies now. I just demonstrate to her how I am safe, responsible and mature. I ride a GS500F, so she knows I'm not out poppin wheelies, pickin up chicks and pissin off old ladies.

Sorry for the long-winded post.

-Danimal

[JamesS]

I'd tell you what worked for me, but ahh, I'm divorced now, so that path probably isn't the best...

[Mojoe]

I'd tell you what worked for me, but ahh, I'm divorced now, so that path probably isn't the best...

lmao!

anyway....I have never been married, so I have always bought what I want, when I want.

However, because of my approaching "mid-life", and a fair share of "relationships" under my belt......I can honestly say "good luck" with situation. By having been around the block a few times, I can tell you that what worked for Joe, probably won't work for John. Women are a stange breed. And contrary to what what they say, they aint all the same.

So my suggestion.......buy her out. that's right...bribe her. be subtle about it, cuz they can see right through a mans shallow attempt at such things. One thing that pretty much no woman can resist, is "something just for her". Instead of approaching her with what you want, try finding out what she would like. Who knows.....maybe she has always dreamed of painting. So for $99.99, you get a starter kit and a Bob Ross video. That will be what it costs you to be allowed to buy a bike. Get my point? Try to see what new hobby she would enjoy doing....or what he one "desire" is. Then make it happen for her. She will be so tickled and thrilled that you care so much that she will feel too guilty to say no to buying a bike.
Reverse psychology.

[tdrcomm]

I'd tell you what worked for me, but ahh, I'm divorced now, so that path probably isn't the best...

Outside of the first post, this is the funniest yet!

No matter what you say or what they say, they will worry. Have her join KR and read some of the posts. That will give her an idea about the type of riding and riders you'll be associating with. Take her to the stealership with you just to look around and get familiar with the addiction.

On second thoughts: scratch #1. If she stumbles on a Range or Sexwax post all hope is lost.

[katana_ron]

Okay let's see. It's because of my wife I ended up getting rid of my first bike many years ago. This thing about if you really love me you will want to be around to see us grow old together and watch your kids grow up. Well I folded and sold the bike.

Then I got the bug again (actually never got rid of it) so I started planting the seed. Man that didn't work, she roto-tilled the ground before anything could grow. Crushed all my hopes and dreams.

So I went with the final approach. Ask forgiveness, not permission. I went out and bought the Kat. Brought it home and we didn't talk for two weeks. But over a year later, she is the one that purchased my leathers for Christmas and when I get grouchy says, "go for a ride, you need it." She still doesn't like the bike, but accepts it. If I would have waited for permission, I would still be sitting on the couch hoping for it.

Good luck.

[Jax]

Look it's easy...I was telling my wife 3 years prior to buying a bike that I was going to get one...went to my first International Motorcycle show where I picked up a helmet and a pair of riding boots...next year..jacket and gloves...third year I started looking for a bike...found one told her I was going to look at it...of course I was actually going to look/buy it...bought it and told her to deal with it...easy as cake...no negotiation or asking...like the old saying goes its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission...

[dragkota]

Get her on one (maybe a friend will give her a ride or let you take her) from then on she will be hooked!!!!

[The CyberPoet]

Ok, time to step in with CyberPoet Wizdom (which may actually work).

Based on what you said, I am going on the assumptions that:
(A) You've never had a motorcycle before.
(B) You're worried about her worrying more than her anger.
(C) You two don't have any kids, rugrats, or others dependent upon you for income and well-being, and that she probably has a job just like you do.

Now my advice:

1. Call your local (or maybe not so local) MSF course location and reserve two (not one -- two) slots and pay for them. Make sure that any gear they require is available to you (beg, borrow, etc). Book a nice hotel close by and find something else special in the area to do in the evenings & reserve that too (concert, theater, something that will appeal to her very strongly so she associates good things with the weekend, which will spill over on the impression of the course). Then tell her you made some reservations for a special outting for the two of you one weekend -- whether you want to keep it a surprize or not is your call, but I probably would given your situation (unless she prone to hissy-fits in public).

Since it's all class-room and parking lot work (instead of open-road), she should be willing to go along with it as a fun time -- even if she never rides at the class. If she doesn't go along with it at all (and does throw the anger fit over the concept), it may well be time to postphone the marriage while you seriously evaluate what kind of relationship can't handle something as mild as a class-room environment and speeds under 25 mph (top speed at an MSF course normally). Seriously... You may love her, you may be co-dependent, or you may feel time-constrained into marrying her (it's been 7 years? Bah, I'm coming up on the 14th year of dating/living with the same girl -- it can be done), but do you really want to live the rest of your life with such a tight clasp around your nads?

2. Obviously, she is going to get the hint when you drag her to an MSF course that you are thinking motorcycle. What you don't know at this point is how she is going to react to the class -- she may come out of it thinking something like "That was cool" or even "I want one!". If nothing else, it was a learning experience for both of you... and it's not uncommon for women to do better at MSF courses than males because they tend to listen better and have fewer preconceived notions that are wrong.

3. After the course, reaim your sights on the purchase. Quit thinking brand new $6 to $7k investment. As a first-time rider, think 500cc $2k max cash-purchase used bike.

NOTE: STANDARD REPOST
As a newbie, my advice is to look at cheap used bikes in the 400 to 500cc range. Find a bike that fits your build well, where you can put both feet on the ground and lean the bike between your thighs left and right a bit. The bike should be cheap -- $1k - $2k price range (preferably something you can afford in cash), physically light and nimble, and not all that powerful. If you wreck it during your learning curve, you won't cry at the financial penalty of it, and if you don't wreck it, you'll be able to get out of it whatever it cost you in the first place... It'll also teach you better riding habits.

To quote myself:

the Ninja 250 & 500's, Bandit 400's, Suzuki GS500 & GS500F are ideal starter bikes... as are many dirt/enduro bikes... [Newbie "riders"] would learn far better habits on the smaller bike than on a typical Katana (for reasons I'm about to explain):

There are certain great advantages to starting out on a small, nimble, high-rev'ving bike with a low total cost. Among others, you will learn to use the handling and power with far more finess and far more skill than you would on a larger, more powerful bike like the Kat. To put that into terms that make sense to someone coming from the car world:

When Colin McRae, the world-champion WRC (world rally cup) driver first started to drive (age 12 - 14), he did so swiping his dad's 1972 Ford Fiesta/Escort with a miniscule 1.2 or 1.4 liter engine. It had power nothing -- manual steering, manual brakes, and high-rev'ing tiny engine with little torque. This taught him everything from precise handling to carrying speed through corners, finess and control, matching shift-speeds and proper gear selection. If his father had owned a Cadillac Eldorado with a 501 cubic inch engine and automatic-power-everything, he would have never had the opportunity (or the need) to learn proper gear selection, finess in handling, traction and handling loss of traction, etc. -- the huge engine and huge car just never require it of the driver. In the same sense, a larger, heavier and more torque-rich bike never require you to learn certain fine nuances of riding... you can just punch out in whatever gear for a passing maneuver, you don't need to carry speed through corners, etc. And there's the crux -- if you learn these skills as habits with your first bike, they go with you for the rest of your life. On the other hand, if you don't learn them at the beginning, unlearning mediocre and poor habits and learning the better/advanced habits later is very difficult and something many never master...
Thus, for all the same reasons that McRae went on to be the winningest rally champ in history, I say to you, get the Ninja 250 or 500, or a bandit 400, a nighthawk 450, etc., and start there. By the time you move up in a year or three, you'll be riding circles around at least half the guys who started on a Katana, and doing so with great confidence.

END OF STANDARD REPOST

This will also take some wind out of her sails on the financial hit if it becomes a point of contention. Or if she wants one too...

(4) Having gone through the class together AND aimed lower on your initial purchase, now is the time to really breach the subject. Honey, I really want a motorcycle... You've softened the blow by use of foreshadowing, price-economics and shared-learning experiences, which is probably the best you can hope for. At this point, you can decide whether she is going to still make it a serious issue or just shake her head in disapproval but go along (or say "me too!"). You can also impliment the better to ask forgiveness than permission card at this point as well, because you have laid as much ground work as possible...

That's my take on the whole issue.
Oh, and if she's apt to go along with it by stage (4), make sure you get her input on the purchase -- her position on the rear may be critical to your long term happiness on the bike.

Cheers,
=-= The CyberPoet