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CyberPoet's How to Ride in a Hurricane

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  • CyberPoet's How to Ride in a Hurricane

    Just for laughs...

    (A) Try to always stay ahead of the feederbands. If not possible, try to stay ahead of the high-speed turbulance directly around the eye of the hurricane (i.e. - the walls of the eye). Remember, your bike will do well over 100mph -- hurricanes tend to move slowly, averaging speeds of 14 to 25 mph across the surface of the earth. Outrun it. It's one of the few times that you have a perfectly reasonable reason to speed

    (B) About staying dry while riding in a hurricane: forget it -- the only way to stay dry is to outrun it. The high speed winds will blow right around any place where your body and clothing meet, even with the best gortex fabrics on the market. Your underwear will be wet if you wear any -- wear bathing trunks instead.

    (C) Think right-angle travel. If the hurricane is headed due north, and you have enough time to put the distance inbetween you and it, head due east or due west. If you don't have that much leaway, head northeast or northwest and put miles between you and it. Hurricanes tend to change directions only a few degrees at a time -- rarely will they swing around 90 degrees to chase you. If it's already passed you to one side (east or west of you), head back south -- hurricanes virtually never go 180 degrees and turn back on themselves. If they do, you can lament me to all your friends.

    (D) If you get hit by the high-turbulance winds close to the eye, find the safest spot you can to park and hide (think concrete structures, or very wide open plains devoid of anything). Feel free to kick the door out of an abandoned building if necessary to get off the road -- just pick a sturdy concrete building -- and take the bike inside with you. Use the centerstand when parking. Remember that the winds just outside the eye rotate very quickly, often changing direction in just a matter of a minute, and in the process flattens metal light poles, trees, etc. You want to be sheltered from this type of debris coming down and swatting you like a bug -- because everyone knows what swatted bugs look like.

    (E) When riding in the eye of the storm, you either need to stay very close to where you hid when the wall passed over (so you can get back to it before the other side of the eye passes), or you have to stay in the eye all the way until it peters out. Since hurricanes don't read road-maps, you may find you ran out of road if you try to stay in the eye -- don't get caught in this situation. If in doubt, follow the birds.

    (F) Leave top boxes and tank bags at home. You want to keep the profile of the bike as low as possible to keep from being as effected by side-winds. There is nothing you need to transport that badly that doesn't have two legs.

    (G) Pay particular attention to semi-trailers. Those riding high on their springs are unloaded and will easily flip on their sides if hit by a high-speed wind. This might mean you get trapped underneath if you're not careful. Back to what you'll look like swatted like a bug.

    (H) Learn to look up for wind warnings. Branches, traffic lights, other items 15 feet over the road way are usually getting battered by a lot more than you and do a really good job of acting as a wind-sock. Don't be fooled by branches bending back up to their rest position after a particularly hard gust... Ditto women holding their skirts down.

    (I) Lean the bike into the wind, not yourself; try to stay as upright to the ground as possible while staying low to the bike. This will give you better control against varying gusts, and also make it easier to get off if you lose it. Although, since you're speeding well over 100, you're not going to lose it -- traffic accident statistics show that 99.99% of motorcycle accidents on the road happen under 80mph.

    (J) Avoid any place that has a rookie journalist standing next to a weather channel van. These guys earn their stripes by being in the thick of it and serve as an early warning that this is not where you want to be. Ditto anywhere you see national guard troops rolling into... Olive green is a color you don't want to see -- on the road or in the sky.

    (K) Do not take hitchhikers unless they are nubile, dressed in daisy dukes and obviously at least a day over 18. No sense in outrunning a hurricane only to be popped at the state border for transport of a sexy minor (a felony in most places).

    (L) Avoid parking in underground parking garages -- they tend to flood. Don't park on the roof of a multistory parking garage either. The best place to park is in the living room of a friend who lives well clear of the path of the hurricane, like one in Arizona... Or just park in your hotel room in Vegas. Nothing like a hurricane evacuation notice to go on an unplanned road trip and vacation -- your boss will understand.

    (M) Do not ride through any water deep enough to swim in... avoid any water with people in kayaks, canoes or power-boats. Your Katana is still a Kat and everyone knows cats hate water...

    (N) And good-God, listen if they give you a mandatory or even voluntary evacuation notice. With modern construction, you may well survive a hurricane in your house/apartment/condo/etc, but being trapped there for 7 to 10 days afterwards with no running water, no electricity, no sewer services (common in flat areas where pumps are used to move sewage uphill, such as all of Florida), and all the roads closed due to downed power-lines and fallen trees/telephone poles/signage/etc. really sucks. Remember, if there's no power at the grocery store, odds are they have no working registers either and thus won't be open to cater to your needs. If you do stay and this happens, whip out the grill and start slow-cooking all the meat in the freezer -- if you cook it slowly enough, it will be tough, but it will last a few extra days in edible form.

    =-= The CyberPoet
    Remember The CyberPoet

  • #2
    I think I'll print this out and stick it under my seat just in case...

    Well not that PA gets too many hurricanes, but


    • #3
      That was awsome! Brings back memories of the one time I did ride in a hurricane on my way home from work (grocery store staying open until the last possible minute). Poor little Honda 200, such a trooper it was!


      • #4
        we are do for a big cane up here in RI. Havent had one hit up here in about 15 years
        Visit And sign up now!


        • #5
          lol, I just got my power back from Dennis, did a bit of recon riding today looking for gas, it was pretty exciting, lots of debris on roads, some stoplights out with crazy a-holes running them all i can say is FUN.


          • #6
            (I)... simply inspired.


            • #7
              Wow.....that must have taken a bit of time to type out.......and dream up.....

              Nice job.

              it's my opinion......that's what makes it mine..

              Toronto Canada that is


              • #8
                Originally posted by BucKatana
                Wow.....that must have taken a bit of time to type out.......and dream up..... Nice job.
                Thanks for the compliment -- it took about 8 minutes to write out (I type very quickly compared to most; programmer's disease), and most of it came straight out of the experiences I've had riding through two previous hurricanes -- with a bit of added humor tacked on...

                =-= The CyberPoet
                Remember The CyberPoet


                • #9
                  it's my opinion......that's what makes it mine..

                  Toronto Canada that is


                  • #10
                    This is my plan.....

                    If a Hurricane is coming, I am evacuating to the Gap. Take a few day vacation up there. They way I figure it, I'm gona have to spring for a hotel anyways, may as well be somewhere fun!!!
                    -89 Gixxer 1100 Engine
                    -Stage 3 Jet Kit / KNN Pod Filters
                    -Ohlins Susupension
                    -Various Other Mods


                    • #11
                      That was a real funny read Cyber, Good job.
                      R.I.P. Marc (CyberPoet)


                      • #12
                        Dude, you amaze me....

                        I was born and raised in West Palm and later moved to Panama City (Fla.). I have out run a hurricane or 2. Didn't really have much choice a couple of times. However, I have found that using a trailer works even better...

                        Now, if you need some notes for writing up how to survive a tornado, let me know. I've had to literealy out run 2 of those as well... Not so much fun either.


                        • #13
                          (K) Do not take hitchhikers unless they are nubile, dressed in daisy dukes and obviously at least a day over 18.
                          Me like em that way.


                          • #14
                            Well done guy, now if got some bloody knees.....................real fun for sure
                            Greetings from north of Germany

                            Jesus says: Life is a cross.....
                            Odin says: Life is a hammer....

                            Better Odin than Jesus!!


                            • #15
                              I think I may actually need to heed this advice since we are about to get hit hard here in Houston, TEJAS!
                              1999 Black Katana GSX-600F